twenty-four firsts

so a few months back, i turned 24. i [unofficially] decided to do 24 things i've never done before. i wanted it to be enjoyable and growth-promoting, rather than stressful, so i didn't pre-determine the list. instead, when faced with a choice, i just consciously made the decision based off of what i hadn't done before. so it pushed me out of my comfort zone, but wasn't as much pressure as a checklist.

here are my (favorite) "first" 24 things i'd never done before that i've done since my birthday:

1. ate at stan's diner
2. got an asymmetrical haircut
3. made a fake band and sang some duets at an open mic night at a real concert venue (and completely bombed it)
4. finally slept in the memorial room in the wilk
5. watched the video of said concert from #3 (which took just as much courage as it did to perform in the first place, and way more humility)
6. was interviewed for BYU TV
7. sang a solo and duet at the next week's open mic (and rocked it...at least better than the first time)
8. swam one whole lap freestyle without stopping (you have no idea: this is SO pathetic, but a big accomplishment considering how sick i was this semester. i had virtually no endurance)
9. aced the last test i will ever take in the testing center (which was actually ridiculously easy, but i'll count it)
10. lay on a nice spot of grass and watched the moody sky change, while bubbles (yes, bubbles) floated past, while listening to super cathartic music
11. finally went to mountain west burrito (and ate an entire burrito in one sitting, thankyouverymuch)
12. participated in the TOMS day without shoes event
13. went to wal-mart at 2 am. and tried on boxes. yeah, you heard me.
14. attended the holi festival of colors (and it hailed!)
15. went to sushi at sakura
16. 113 mph on a bullet bike (i was the passenger) :) (don't have a photo of the bike, so pictured below are the biking jackets, and also the beautiful lake that was found and admired, mid-ride. 'nuff to stop and stare for a while.)
17. switched phone companies (after going back SIX times to my provider with problems with my new phone...hello, verizon! please be good to me....)
18. got a 4.0 GPA. ...first time EVER since high school. this was my last semester, and my easiest, but i'm still really proud of it.
19. created a successful SOLO art show!
20. went on a self-date in my hometown. which is something i often did in NY, but i can't recall doing it here.
21. went camping with a huge group of friends. until now, we've never really gotten a good-sized group together to camp.
22. shot arrows with a bow!
23. bought my very own dslr camera and lens (with help from dad as part of my i'll-eventually-graduate-college gift), as well as cs6
24. applied for a u.s. passport.... :)

big things, little things, ALL THE THINGS! i really like doing this; i'm going to make it a habit. why not, right? below are some of the things. in relative order.

what have you recently done for the first time? or things you will do?!  

cannons ready

happy finals week times!!

this finals week is by far the most chill finals week i have ever experienced. EVER.
so i decided to dedicate this post to more important matters.

i give you, the top ten bands i've listened to this past semester ::

{image source}

1. jónsi
2. searching for celia
3. book on tape worm
4. youth lagoon
5. arcade fire
6. mumford and sons
7. explosions in the sky
8. the glitch mob
9.  album leaf
10. ratatat

honorable mentions ::
quiet company
quasi-stellar radio
imagine dragons

rapidly getting up there ::
vampire weekend
brandon flowers

i tried to name the top ten in order from band likely most listened to --> band likely least listened to. but i decided i couldn't really figure that out so don't mind the order too much. but it's probably sorta accurate.

a lot of it is more ambient/post-rock/chill (yeah, those can be different categories) because i spent a good chunk of the semester in the library researching and writing my paper. i found some of this stuff was mind-revving but not too distracting (maybe helpful for all you poor souls having to study for finals!).

the honorable mentions are mainly because had i discovered them sooner, i'd have listened to them more by now. the last category are bands i knew about but just started paying attention to.

what are some bands you're listening to?

colon-right-parenthesis

a few days ago, i read this post (with possibly the *most* adorable picture ever) and really loved the idea of "happy lists".

recently, my life has had some major -meh- moments, so i just wanted to make a happy list of my own from these last couple of weeks:

1. avoiding game-day traffic altogether by navigating the foothills (and feeling awesome while doing it)

{image via here}

2. that rainbow in the sky for no reason on that perfectly sunny conference saturday.
3. skype
4. those days when you just like hearing yourself sing (which isn't all the time)
5. hearing the perfect song for the moment
6. remembering words like “nifty” and “neat” and using them
7. making nifty things for neat people
8. silly problems and creative solutions
9. excellent boots
10. being inspired
11. that perfect scarf-and-sweater weather, when it’s overcast and cloudy and beautiful
12. music outside
13. the newest google doc i made for myself, entitled: "thoughts // ideas // dreams // plans". (it's like i'm giving myself permission to dream again)
14. wonderfully insightful conversations

what's on your list?

small successes

editor's note: though we promised the next post would be full of photos, we've been pretty busy around here at warm fuzzies, trying to squeeze the most fun out of the rest of summer possible.  thus, we have yet to post aforementioned tally hall post. this will be coming soon. meanwhile, we succeeded in maximum fun-squeezing. while we finish up the tally hall post, enjoy these little thoughts:

sometimes, i feel like it's easy to get caught up in the 'big' decisions of life and that can be very stressful. to get myself out of that rut, i've been finding it helpful to count the minor victories that can make meh-days into huzzah!-days. here are some from this month that i actually recorded as they occurred. they're chronological except for the first, which happened yesterday:

-- i was trying to justify buying an odwalla drink (after already having purchased, opened, and sipped it). i turned it over to check out the contents. so far, so good: oranges, vitamin c, protein, and...DOUBLE RAINBOWS. (?!) i realized my drink was actually made of WIN.

-- i just stared down the subway cookies (the delicious ones by the register) straight in the face and said..... NO!

 -- i smiled at two people in a row; it was the *perfect* greeting-without-being-awkward amount of smile. i dunno if you've noticed, but there's kind of an art to that. and they both smiled back.

-- my friend jess sent me the following message for no reason at all:

"Let`s settle this the mature adult way." 

"Rock paper scissors?" 

"Yep.."  

I could see us doing that. haha!

-- five professional artists (two who happen to be some of my favorites) started following me (one on pinterest, four on twitter) without me following them first, and my lovely cousin audra just pinned up one of my paintings on pinterest. ....i sort of feel like a rockstar.

-- i love that my friend mallory thought this fitting to text me:

        "Two very attractive, shirtless boys just ran past me. Just so you know. :)"

-- i've been listening to a lot of ambient/instrumental music lately. i realized that when i listen to it through my earbuds while walking around campus, it greatly affects my mood. for example, i texted my friend ryan this morning, "ps, i'm walking like i'm way more epic than i really am again".

-- at a late-night trip to denny's on the way back home from AZ, my brother took his little 3-yr old son who isn't *quite* potty-trained to the restroom. my nephew ran back first, at full speed, smiling from ear to ear and yelled victoriously across the room to us, "i poooOOOOOooooped!!!!"

...yes. around here, we count the small successes.

i'm the number two

sixteen things i currently love (in no particular order) :

1. well-coordinated outfits (which sometimes match my surroundings)

2. writing
3. the temple

4. my new planner

5. having short hair
6. quotes
7. pinterest
8. conference talks and devotionals
9. swimming  (if you know me well, you say: "??!!")
10. catching up with old friends
11. physically strenuous exercise involving activities to which my body is not accustomed
12. wide open spaces (actual physical space. not the song)
13. learning.

14. listening to songs in languages i do not know. in fact, sometimes it's the only thing that makes sense to me.

15. the idea of travel....

16. driving - dusk - windows down. by myself. listening to music, or my own voice, or the silence. each tell me different things, you know.

this is not to say that i love all these things only now or starting now or ending later or starting sooner or that i will love them all forever. but i may. this is just a current analysis of my current cathartic/joyful/slightly amusing pleasures from the past few weeks. i'm sure you were wondering. you're welcome.

what's on your list?

at the end of the day

last night, jess visited me.

she and i have been friends since 6th grade...when she convinced me to perm my hair with her. which was a mistake. but one that brought us together. 

she's been a favorite ever since. 

this morning i woke up bright and early and made french toast with reneé.

she's a fabulous person -- really sincere and genuinely kind, and full of passion and energy and drive. 

she's roommates with kim,

whose contagious happiness and optimism is unstoppable. if kim believes in you, you can do anything.

then i watched brooke perform at the farmers market. 

brooke is a true friend, through and through. she'll stand up and fight for any friend in need, and won't be ashamed to do so.

i met up with tricia and her husband logan

whom i have had the blessing of knowing for quite some time (tricia has been a best friend since high school -- logan is a newer addition but i couldn't have hand-picked a better companion for her).  among many other things, they are willing to put themselves second to a friend in need. which happens often. and they do it together.

we explored the farmer's market --

and saw chilcoat there! he was my 8th grade history teacher

...whom i hadn't seen since early high school. he always encouraged me to pursue art, and was contagiously passionate about school and especially history. 

i've never thought of the jfk assassination the same way since. 

tricia and logan and i had amazing sandwiches. 

amazing.

then i came home

decided not to hike the Y with my ward

because i'm very much injured from the last hike 

but didn't regret that hike  

at all

[see previous post]

and attended a wedding reception for tim and lyndsie.

i don't know her well but she has a nice smile. he is very intelligent and willing to help.

there, i saw mark, brooke (again), gina and rocio -- 

and this group is so solid. always there for each other and always so much fun. inclusive and caring. 

talked with jeff on the way back 

who is like a male-version of me. so we get along pretty ploxily. he provides perspective and empathy and a shoulder to cry on and someone with whom to laugh 

then i drove to another wedding reception with my friend and old roommate whitney

who is level-headed and so wonderfully supportive of her friends. and of people in general. she's always up for adventure.

the wedding reception was for aubrey

who is one of the sweetest, most thoughtful people i know

...seriously. 

came back and saw whit's roommate/my old roommate/our dear friend carolyn

who is loving and down-to-earth and a wonderful listener

and now i'm off to do stuff with mama. 

who has always been there for me. kind, loving, supportive, tons of fun. she's just so good. it's nice to be with her.

...

at the end of the day, my to-do list doesn't have a lot of checkmarks on it...but i feel like the way my day went, my time was spent productively.

i realized something. i realized that one of my favorite things about my life is, by far, the people in it. God is so good to bless us through other people. i feel like my time is best spent when i'm in the company of someone i love, whether it be a someone or lots of someones. i know that most have already come to this realization and it's pretty cliché, but -- 

in the end, people matter.  

note: this was an account of one day which brought with it these certain people. there are obviously other days and other wonderful people in my life.  lest anyone feel left out. :)

me[h] + tidbits

i'm a blog slacker; i know. since last time, i have scheduled out my life until the end of finals, and haven't had a chance to think past that point.

also,
i turned 23 on saturday.

that day....i:
got a hair cut.
worked on a chair all day.
had a party.
saw many good friends.
warm and fuzzy surprises. 
received one of the best homages ever, blog style.
and got sick.

more on that later. maybe.

last night, i finally stayed up late (1:30am) doing homework! this was actually [surprisingly] a relief to stay up doing homework. i've averaged ~5 hours of sleep per night lately, which, if you know me, is actually really pretty decent, but i've been so physically and emotionally exhausted this semester it's been really difficult. i've been staying up doing "fun" or distracting or urgent but not important things; it was nice to stay up doing something that was, in a way, stress-relieving. i can justify doing homework.

i was also frustrated with some things. i decided to take 5 minutes to draw for fun. i forget how much i need that.

i like how this one turned out. i'll probably ink and/or color it in the future. may the rest of your day be productive, health and non-frustrative.

a day to love

9:56 am -- every valentine's day, i'm determined to find things and people to love extra well, regardless of my relationship status. i think it's sad how much anti-happiness there is because there's so much emphasis on the dating aspect of valentines.

i wanted to write a valentine post today, but had no idea what to write about. so i started keeping a log during the day of these valentine-related things.

9:37am (yeah, i realize that one already happened)
my teacher ryan woodward and his wife brought us all donuts! and i added chocolate milk : )

10:02 am
my friend simini posted something adorable for her parents.

10:52 am
in the ladies' room, i found sweet little post-its on the mirror. i found out it was part of this. kind of lovely.

11:04 am
i am specifically trying to smile at everyone i see today. it's working pretty well so far. and i'm happier, too...i used to do this all the time; why don't i reinstate that habit?

11:28 am
i got distracted watching this video.

11:46 am
'harappa'  by e.s. posthumus lulled me to sleep in the animation lab. i woke up at 11:52. it was a soothing little nap

2:12 pm
went to eat tasty food with nikki, and the clouds were BEAUTIFUL. the day just felt...good. on the way back, i experienced a tiny hail storm. quite the interesting phenomenon

3:24 pm
wish i could say i spent that hiatus being productive...but alas, i was better spending my time eating good food, fabulous chocolate, chatting with friends, and drawing jamba juices with sad faces on them.

4 pm
went to class and had a fun time joking with my classmates; i also appreciated talking to my teacher jake parker about how to get out of artist slumps and realized how fortunate i am to have such awesome professors.

i stopped keeping track after that...but you get the idea.

i was also very fortunate to be the recipient of various valentine surprises from some of my dearest friends, as well as from others whom i was pleasantly surprised.

it was also good to hang out with some of my girl friends and made me realize how grateful i am to have such wonderful people in my life.

the night proved to be difficult and didn't end quite like i had planned, but tomorrow is a new day.

{image via here}

mix tape

saturday night, i sent a text to a very ploxy friend asking to help me find good lyrics to express how i feel in general right now. it's kind of like a roller coaster in my head. we searched for a while, but i couldn't find any one song to capture it. while i still forage for the perfect song, here are ten that at least have parts of truth (whether it be in lyrics or just the mood) akin to a thought or two in my head. they are in no particular order:

1) hey jude -- the beatles
2) extraordinary machine -- fiona apple
3) eet -- regina spektor
6) soldier -- ingrid michealson
4) sheep go to heaven -- cake
5) keep breathing -- ingrid michaelson
8) dog days are over -- florence and the machine
7) marching on -- one republic
9) everything's not lost -- coldplay
10) sleep -- eric whitacre

it's only numbered so it looks more like a list.

what's on your life-theme song (or song list) right now?

as an unrelated side-note, i hope that the recent lack of comments isn't because i've somehow alienated you, my wonderful readers. i don't hate comments. just so you know.

also...if i make it through this week successfully, it will be a miracle. but i believe in miracles....

props to 2009. you were pretty great.

{note: success! i have fixed the majority of the photos so you can now click them and they will enlarge! i'll fix the rest later :D}

january:: started the new year by playing rock band for the first time with my awesome coworkers, went to bodyworlds with jeff (i'd been once before and time #2 was awesome), discovered a new favorite town (midway), and took my first wedding reception photos-- kyle and kilene (still aren't all edited. um...), learn that i have pretty cool friends.
february:: attend byu's synthesis with guest guitarist anthony wilson, receive ORCA grant, classes start to get intense and awesome, start dating zach, start to learn how to take risksmarch:: make second annual appearance as dr seuss' thing 2 with matthew and ryan for elementary school kiddos, sing for Catholic church's irish celebration, sing with 3 friends for mom's entire elementary school and become country rock stars to them, proclaim ourselves as country rock stars and take photos, niece jordan gets baptized, decline ORCA after much deliberation, turn 21! and learn that kids can teach us a lot more than we can teach them

april:: get accepted into byu's illustration BFA program, finals (ugh), my favorite tree ever dies and it is truly tragic, go to LDS conference (goood seats!), start spring semester and learn to appreciate my home and the value of hard work

may:: zach goes to korea and japan for 3 weeks with the byu wind symphony, i roadtrip to idaho with my sisters (!) (i still haven't received photos from this), various sketchisodes and sketchventures, heidi moves to AZ and i'm released from presidency (sadface), celebrate mother's day and mom's birthday, learn that friendships can be strengthened from a distance...which is pretty cool.

june:: go to ER from an allergic reaction to a bug bite (i just paid yet another bill from this just yesterday), re-discover my love of outdoor theater, mom gets knee surgery, i take care of her and give her shots in the stomach to prevent blood clots, i grow up a lot, zach gets swine flu, i get called to be sunday school teacher, i learn lots of hard life things, strengthen my faith and take on heightened responsibility

july:: zach and i take my adorable nieces and nephews to see hot air balloons, i donate shoes to africa, i take photos for christa's wedding--20 gigs of memory, i take haynie family photos, i take becky slinker carroll's photos, zach + danielle + jade + i perform in the ballet 'pioneer legacy'--making up about half of the 'choir', i learn business aspects of photography (money, process, etc) by way of my own initial ignorance and realize i really miss performing

august:: daddy/daughter date at one of my favorite places, buy new running shoes, start to run again, adventures in park city, camping & jet skiing with zach + tricia + logan, learn to appreciate my body and realize adventure can be had anywhere when one seeks for it

september:: get excused from jury duty (again), school starts, sister comes to visit from idaho, released from sunday school teacher and called as relief society teacher, darling visits and we have traditional breakfast at kneaders, learn to accept things as they come even if they don't fit into my "plan"

october:: ward camp-out, alpine loop, vending machine show, opera: 'tales of hoffmann' [zach played in the pit. i watched the opera and loved it], haunted gingerbread houses for fhe, homecoming parade, i was partly in charge of BYUIA halloween party at bob barrett's house, visit mom's classroom, another niece gets baptized...on halloween (i convince mom and sister to be whos from whoville with me!). i am reminded to appreciate the subtle beauties of life and learn be a better leader and planner

november:: get sick as a dog (4th time this semester), attend they might be giants and regina spektor concerts on the same night, celebrate mickey mouse's birthday with chocolate mint cake and ice cream in my gesture drawing class, double family reunion in arizona for thanksgiving, sister and i get lost multiple times driving there and back, bond with siblings by performing two songs for talent show (i played guitar with my brother alan and we all sang, then just robin and i sang, with al's help and my guitar!), i get very sick in hotel at reunion, i am reminded how amazing my family is and remember how blessed i am to have them

december:: jon foster comes and i get to go to breakfast with him and 2 other students and brother hull, jon foster lectures and all socks in attendance are rocked, i get to have lunch with tally hall, i attend two tally hall concerts in one day (blogs are already written and will be published as soon as i can get the pictures all posted: stay tuned), jeff's annual Christmas muppet + egg nog party [i decorate a cookie to match my shirt], finals just about kill me, annual Christmas caroling party, festivus 5, Christmas with family + family and friend parties, zach and i throw successful beatles rock band/ping-pong/pool table/apples to apples/wii party (stay tuned for the next one! everyone's always invited), zach + danielle + i attend provo's first night and then with brittany have dang good fizzy bubbler and hot chocolate. i start to learn to balance.

and so, the year ends the same way it started: rock band. :] but more importantly, i've changed. i think i've grown up a lot this year through facing a lot (a LOT) of difficult decisions. there are still lots to come and i'm still learning. i think i've grown closer to my family. i've made wonderful new friends and reconnected with old ones. i've lost opportunities and gained other ones. all in all, i'm a work in progress.

as a shout-out to the new year, written on january 1....

dear 2010, i almost cut my hair and donated it today to celebrate you...but decided to buy a shirt instead. it was safer. welcome, anyway.

so close!

...but still so far to go. finals have been extremely difficult this round. BUT i am NOT sick! i think because i got so sick so much this semester, my body [gratefully] skipped my annual finals-sickness. really, almost every finals week for the last two years [maybe longer?] i've gotten very physically ill. not this time! for now. [i'm thinking of getting a doctor's note exempting me from finals the next time due to my apparent allergy to them....]

since last thursday, i've

gone to bed at 4am (twice)
gotten little sleep the other nights
taken my guitar final (so. easy! and i got my last 2 performances in the two days preceding that)
finished 3 paintings
sketchbooked (but not enough)
started and finished another painting...with really cool textures!

[this one:]

...and i still have to

sketchbook (more)
get figure drawing portfolio together
figure out the t-shirt contest stuff
write a paper on a problem in the illustration industry and how to resolve it (ideas? anyone? anyone?)
get gesture drawing portfolio together
finish another 2 paintings
start and finish another painting (this one HAS to be good...dangit...)
and
paint two portraits

by thursday.

(sadly, our model for this one

didn't show up for the last 2 [of the 3 total] times she modeled for us. and i can't find the photo i took of her to finish it. i really hope i can find it...soon.)

just apathy

[note: i had an amazing tally hall friday, and full documentation will follow. however, i just realized how much i need to get done in the next two weeks, so much that i'm not even going to work--i talked to my supervisor and boss today--and with lots of hard work, prayers and sadly little sleep i'll get it all done. note that on my to-do list up top, everything under illustration 2 are oil paintings. (read: panic.) thus, the tally hall post will have to wait. but it'll be worth it...promise.]

yesterday brought with it a stressful morning, and i got to my gesture drawing class late because of the snow. in being late, i missed my quiz (on this amazing book) and sat there while they discussed the answers (i knew most of them, which was frustrating) with no way to make it up. ironically, it was already a 'make-up quiz'. i needed it because i missed one day of class (due to me getting sick FIVE times this semester...yes, five). on the ONE day that i missed this class, our teacher hadn't been there the last week so he gave two quizzes. therefore, i missed both and need both make-up quizzes (there are only two allowed total), and yesterday i missed the first one. injustice! it's been a hard couple of days (weeks...) and that just kind of stomped on my optimism for a good start to the week. instead of sitting in the middle of the chatty group with friends where i usually do, i chose to sloop off into the corner, sit down with my drawing board and plug my ears up with my trusty earbuds, thereby dead to the world (i promise, this isn't typical of me).

the first thing to pop up on my ipod was tally hall. though i love tally hall, i honestly wasn't in the mood for 'happy'. but i couldn't deny the hall on my pod...the songs were just sitting there, staring at me. so, i scrolled down to the more solemn "just apathy" and listened while i started to draw. as the timid piano clinked in my ears, followed by the sad violin and finally rob cantor's somewhat disheartened voice, i felt i'd found an appropriate song for my melancholy mood as i paused to glance at the snowy blur outside. it was good to hear. however, i didn't stop the playlist when it continued with more cheery tally hall songs. surprisingly, i started to pull off some pretty decent drawings as i listened.

at the end of the 3-hour class, i'd listened to the entire tally hall album three times. and was substantially happier.

point being, though i am stressed beyond all reason by school, responsibilities, work, family stuff, relationships, hard decisions, and finals, i've pretty much hit my limit. however, sometimes i'm just reminded of little blessings that keep me going. i just have to remember to open my eyes and accept them for what they are.

for one thing, the back of my van has never looked better, thanks to jeff (you can ignore the dirt):


and yesterday at lunch, i was given a brownie by a random friend. brownies. are. my favorite.

school girl

[above: 2nd day of school photos. amy, i accidentally erased my 1st day photo... :( hope this suffices.]

i know. it's been a while. here's the life update:

in general, i...
*have hair down to my waist, and might chop it all off for locks of love...next week?
*still sometimes write in all lowercase letters...just for kicks
*wasn't going to blog until i blogged about figure drawing and advertising....dangit.
*am still determined to blog about said subjects (it's photographing the images that takes time)
*still heart art

this summer, i...
*only took two days off work for fun purposes...and was sick for both
*went jet skiing and camping and to park city for those days
*went off of sugar for a while (yay me!)
*had some awesome sister bonding moments and days
*decided to start doing freelance photography (you can check my online portfolio on the right for a small sample)
*got released from the r.s. presidency and called to be a sunday school teacher...then got called to be a relief society teacher for the other relief society in our ward

regarding school, i...
*got into the illustration BFA! as of april.
*will be a senior this year...and next...and possibly next
*am taking four art classes (illustration II, narrative I, gesture drawing, and advanced figure drawing...for the 3rd time) and one other class...guitar (for the 3rd time).
*think it's pretty cool that all my art classes i'm taking are being taught by the heads of the illustration and animation departments (bob barrett, bethanne anderson, richard hull, and ryan woodward)
*got BFA studio space, which is handy and helpful
*have had 6 major headaches in the first 3 weeks of school, with 1 full migraine
*am trying really hard to be healthy regardless of the endless projects
*have straight classes from 1pm-8pm on tuesdays and thursdays

currently i...
*am still dating zachary, who's wonderful (& he got into the philharmonic orchestra this year, yay!)
*still love jambas
*miss being with people. i do...lots of art. lots. you can come visit me when i paint in my basement. really.
*am still contemplating a mission
*ache for some of my family members with their current trials
*pray...lots (hopefully this isn't just "currently")
*am realizing the that "the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance." (v.20)

i also...
*joined a health competition! check this out. it's been difficult because of my schedule.
*have gotten more comments on my long hair these last few weeks than i EVER have...i might not cut my hair just yet....
*am missing the first part of the first BYU home game. i'd best be off.

that's about it. i promise to post more soonish.

first run in a year: CHECK!

that's what i just texted jeff.

i went to the podiatrist a few weeks ago (after i posted this) and he said i could go ahead and get new running shoes and start out again! i have to start slow (it's so hard to do!) but i can run! i was beaming when i came out of the student health center; it was a stark contrast to last july when i walked out close to tears.

i bought running shoes at 26.2 on thursday. i highly recommend the place. i got saucony hurricanes, like the picture shows. i walked a bit that night to try them out, but tonight decided to go ahead and start running.

my first run didn't go as i expected (alone, at night) but here's what was so great about it:

11. clean, fresh air filling up my lungs.
10. looking up as i ran: the stars are beautiful on dark nights.
9. earphones that made my music sound like a soundtrack to the quiet night.
8. taking my earphones out and hearing the silent patter of my own feet.
7. new shoes that make my feet feel like they're running on clouds.
6. excited wonder of something that i haven't felt in a long time, and the rediscovery of that feeling.
5. DOing...not just THINKing about it. on top of that, doing something that doesn't require anything but my own self...and some good shoes. perhaps one of my favorite things about running.
4. such. good. running. music. (<----you NEED to watch that LAST video...)
3. people outside doing activities. brought a feeling of security and extra motivation.
2. looking like an idiot: i couldn't stop smiling. at least i was a happy idiot...heehee.
1. silently vowing not to take this for granted.

"it's a wonderful night...." :)

quirky art musings

i don't know if it's just my personality or if it's my artsy-ness coming out, but sometimes i catch myself thinking total art-nerd things and decided to write them down in my sketchbook. i've posted a few, for your pleasure.

constantly noticing how people's outfits match their surroundings.

looking at the moon and apart from admiring its beauty, accidentally wondering what kind of a gaussian blur would be used to create that effect in photoshop.

constantly noticing how my outfit matches my surroundings...as unconventional as they might be: coming out of the bathroom the other day, i looked in the mirror and thought, 'hey! the color of the new stall doors, and the wall, and my outfit all look really good together! I should take a picture!!' honestly. who thinks that?!

looking at the sky and wondering how i would mix the colors and blend the clouds evenly if i were to paint it.

getting so distracted with determining what font a temporary license plate was scripted in, that i didn't even notice it was a flashy new little BMW until i looked a second time (after figuring out the font).

going back into the bathroom later and actually taking the picture.

i know, i know. i really am an art-nerd.


ps, the font on the BMW was 'mistral'. i double-checked. :)

11 lessons learned from "UP"

i am an avid pixar fan. pixar is kind of what drives me to be an animator sometimes. as i watched their newest film "Up"...4 times...i realized that there are a lot of "grown-up" lessons to be learned.

here are some little golden bits of wisdom i took from it:
1. there's something to be said about 'true love'. it's worth waiting for.
2. never stop dreaming.
3. never give up hope in trying to accomplish a goal.
4. i hate squirrels...
5. friends are true no matter what. they don't judge.
6. draw on your walls.
7. sometimes, if you just open your eyes and look for it, you're in the middle of an adventure.
8. POINT!!! (see above image)
9. through disappointments, we can see more clearly.
10. appreciate the past, live in the present, look forward to the future. cherish them all!
11."sometimes, the boring things are the things we remember most."

what did you learn?

shoes for africa

30 pairs of shoes.
5 pairs of slippers.
4 pairs of flip-flops.

i really, really like footwear. tendinitis has made me more conscious of what i wear on my feet, and i haven't been wearing a lot of the shoes i own. still, it's hard for me to give them up. so many...memories, i guess. then again, it's hard for me to throw anything away.

tonight, mom showed me a flier that said, "WE DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY, JUST YOUR UNWANTED SHOES". it was an african relief effort and said that "shoes of all sizes and conditions needed!!" (two exclamation marks).

suddenly, i got excited. it was the perfect reason for giving my shoes away. i positioned myself between my 3 shoe racks and got right to work. any time i hesitated in reaching for a pair, thinking, 'i might use these some time' or 'these hold memories' or whatever, the thought hit me: i wear these, what...once? twice a year? and there are people in africa who don't wear shoes. ever. simply because they don't have them. but i do!

with that, i'd grab the shoes and stick them in the bag. i felt pretty happy.

7 pairs later, i had a big white garbage bag filled, and then some. i know 7 isn't a lot, but it's a start.

these specific shoes weren't my cutest (minus one pair) ever, but they were some of the oldest, and brought back good memories. i'd like to introduce you to them, via my favorite memories of each.


a) black flats-- used from 8th grade all the way until college. most remembered for being a part 5 of my 7 years of choir.
b) thick-soled moccasin-looking things. used in various costumes, and learning how to match my shirts with my shoes (a practice that i'm still pretty meticulous about).
c) sturdy hiking-boots- girls camp. memory: we once found a saltwater taffy stuck in a tree along our hiking on some remote trail. i was wearing these. memory #2: jessica barry and i led the hardest hike our last year of camp. all i remember is that it was really really steep. those poor little girls we led.
d) my very first pair of sketchers. once used in my dance-video phase: my sister robin introduced me to her paula abdul dance exercise video and others...these shoes were troopers when i was attempting early 90's dance moves on carpet while busting up laughing every few minutes.
e) my sodas: i liked how they looked when i finally started to find jeans long enough to fit me. started matching brown belts with brown shoes. i guess i like matching.
f) comfy shoes: my roommate steph gave these to me when she was going to throw them out. good for lounging. reminds me of all the good times at cinnamon tree.

of these, my favorites are specimen a: the black flats. i guess my favorite part about them is the fact they were there with me through so many concerts and performances. i really miss singing.

here are other reasons why i liked them so much (besides the square toe):

i really loved making spiral shapes when i'd walk through a puddle or snow to a performance




i loved the fact that i had everyone fooled by re-applying sharpie marker on the tips to keep the warn-out ends looking black







i loved the pink stitching

and here was its vice: the end had come unsewn. an easy fix for someone in the shoe-making business, i'm sure.

so i didn't end up going to ghana like i'd planned this summer. but my shoes will go to africa. :)