roles

just when i think i have it all together,

i sorta lose it again. 

these next/last few days (weeks? months? time eludes me...) have been really crazy. 

and then i wonder, has there been a time in my life i haven't claimed that?

and under my jaunty smile, 

i frown a little. 

is that okay? 

i don't know. 

i was thinking about it just now as i'm late to sit in on another professor's figure drawing class

(have i told this blog that i'm teaching figure drawing this semester at my old university?)

and i was like...wow. i need to switch roles a lot faster these days. 

well, switch mindsets. 

yesterday i needed to be a full-time daughter. that isn't required often of my gracious mother but yesterday it needed to happen. and i'm grateful things are okay.

but today i'm a little stressed about beginning the anatomy unit in my figure drawing class. and my students' midterms are today. so today: full-time instructor. focus on that all day. til after class when i have another commitment. 

and then tomorrow, full-time instructor as i figure out how i'm going to teach the provo art club head drawing. 

and grade my students' midterms. 

and tomorrow night, i'll be a recipient of someone else's art. a concert attendee. hopefully. and hopefully that'll fill my well a bit....and won't leave me too sad. 

the next day? art instructor again. to teach the art club. 

and after that: photographer. photoshoot. stoked about that. but a tad rusty. hoping that the photoshoot i did a few weeks ago will energize that. 

and after that: another social commitment. 

and then monday: work on graphic design project. in fact, all week: toggle between roles of graphic designer for two graphic design projects and figure drawing instructor for again--hardest subject to simplify: anatomy. 

all of this, tring to clear my schedule so that i can be an "artist" -- the painting and drawing kind, since i have the privilege of being in the beehive bazaar and 75% of my stock needs to be original artwork ready to sell. most of which i have yet to  create. 

and um...i have carpal tunnel and tendinitis in both wrists. so i have to make sure i don't overdo it. 

and i'd really like to do music again. that's pulling at me. there's an opportunity to perform a little thing on march 21 (the same day i substitute teach a 6-hour long figure drawing class). 

also there are social things i flit between too. 

you know. 

that's normal, right? 

i'm feeling very incapable of being normal sometimes. 

and simplicity.

such a beautiful concept that somehow always eludes me.

{via here}

...artist: amiright?

maybe i can simplify my artistic life at least. 

if not in the jobs, 

the job descriptions? 

so it's sort of like i switch between things, especially in the artistic sense so fast: artist/art instructor/different kind of art instructor/graphic designer/photographer/back to designer.....and i'm just thinking: perhaps i need to just start to consider myself as a "creator". with different mediums. would that simplify the thought process? 

lemme try.....

hey. i'm kristin.

i create things. 

some days with charcoal, some days with nupastel, others with paint....

yeah. that sounds good. 

so this week, up on the dock, starting today it goes like this:

i    w i l l    c r e a t e    w i t h :

thursday-- food (breakfast), written words (this post), conte (practice), the copy machine (lessonplan),  energy / spoken words / conte (my classroom)

friday-- conte (practice), creativity (lesson plan)

saturday-- spoken words / conte, colored pencils, (art club lesson), camera (photoshoot) 

monday-- lightroom (photo editing), adobe suite (junta project), adobe suite (bom zine project), etc etc....

see, even that is way more complicated than it needs to be. and this post went on a free ramble way longer than i originally intended. and i'm not even gonna go back up and read it before i publish. bad idea? probably. but hey, at least it's something. 

take that, perfectionism. 

simplicity...i'll get back to you later.