i just walked barely got home from a family gathering at my sister's. my mom drove on the way home, as i stared out the window. i recorded what i saw of the sunset's remains in four texts to myself in a matter of ten minutes: 

the sky is colorless. beautiful, breathtaking -- but near colorless. a somber sort of beauty. it takes getting used to.

but as i keep looking at it, there are starting to be hints of color that are showing up. now, a few minutes or so later, there are tints of deep pink. it's beautiful.

and now the majority of the underbellies of the clouds are exquisitely pink. the only way i can describe the color is -- violent; it demands to be seen and it is a deep, feisty sort of magenta.

the sun set long ago, but i guess the color was hidden. apparently, only time could tell its true potential.


my dog ate my homework.

i wrote a lovely little blog yesterday morning about thanksgiving.

i would have posted that tonight but i had to do homework.

i would have done homework earlier today but i went to the temple.

i would have gone to the temple later today but my niece was getting baptized later.

the baptism was absolutely delightful.

i would have done homework after the baptism and family gathering, but i was stranded several cities away.

...with my family, at my sister's. so that was okay.

i would have done homework tonight but i ran out of animation paper.

i had to go to school to get it.
i called angela, because she's a good adventure buddy.
we went to school and i punched the animation paper.
 with the animation hole punch.
(not with my fist.)

i would be doing that homework now but i just got home.

i would have gone home earlier but when i went to drop angela off at her home, a few blocks from my house, we realized the hood of my car was smoking and smelled of acidic burning rubber. which was *probably* a bad sign.

it would have been fine because our friend steven, a mechanic, conveniently lives across the street.
but steven was away helping another friend with a crisis. 

we would have gone into angela's house to stay warm but we were locked out.

mariah was quite randomly driving by.
she saw us and stopped.
we got in her car to stay warm.

i would have done my homework while waiting for steven but my sister and brother-in-law accidentally set off the alarm at my house and the 911 dispatcher was drilling them with security questions, so angela, mariah and i piled into mariah's car to go help.

they got it in time
so the police didn't come to my house.
this time.
my brother-in-law and sister said they'd come look at the car.
we waited while they changed.

i would have done some homework in the interim
but my homework was still in my car.
in front of angela's.

i would have gotten home earlier 
so i could do my homework
but we just finished pushing my car home. 

i would have done at least some homework by now...at least a brush stroke or a tween, but i just finished discussing the car with steven, who randomly (out of the goodness of his very kind heart) showed up to look at the car.

and i'm very tired.
i can't even think about animation or painting. 

i would have done my homework earlier this week, every day if possible, but every day of this week has sort of been like this. no....but seriously.

i would have gotten straight A's this semester, but apparently my dog keeps eating my homework (or something like that). 

our backsides: brother-in-law, car, me, angela, mariah, quinten


nothing to wear

sometimes, it's the silly little things that keep me sane. like finding this illustration on my friend karen sorenson's blog. karen is an brilliant artist, and i LOVE her work.

"i have nothing to wear!"
copyright karen sorenson
i commented:

...i feel like this ALL THE TIME.

in fact, i didn't buy a skirt in new york, then regretted it, then spent the next year reminding myself that it wasn't in my closet when i'd [frequently] go look for it there.

ugh. oh, and when i went back in march, i couldn't find it anywhere.

true story. can anyone else out there relate? i'd like to hear your tragic tales.

...black and white striped skirt, where are you in this world? ...


note to self

i'm coming to write here because, well, this is my little corner of the world. one of them. and writing is how i deal with things.

not saying there are a lot of things i'm dealing with right now, but well, ...there are.

sometimes life is just hard. and it's supposed to be that way. it always will be hard. but, men are that they might have joy.

and sometimes, joy is harder to find. but it will come. like faith, like truth, like God -- joy comes to those who seek it.

His kindness will not depart from us. 


in the mood

i've been in an art funk lately. we could say it's been this past week. or maybe this semester. or perhaps this whole year.

it's a long, difficult, tangential story, which i'll not explain now.

but i just wanted to record an experience.
today i was determined to be productive.

from 1-5pm, i locked myself in the lab and animated. i re-drew one of the keys. tweened between frames 11 and 31. shot them. got a character sheet. re-drew the keys. better. re-drew the tweens. shot them. et cetera.

this time, i'm determined.

and it worked. i still haven't gotten a lot done, but i've worked my tail off, and that counts for something. i was super tired around 5, so i went upstairs and took a nap.

after i awoke, i heard noise below. i looked over the 5th floor balcony; it seemed as though the h-fac was bursting with...culture. i just stood there and soaked it all in. there was an art reception going on, so there were lots of people. wonderful people. individuals. // good food. shrimp, fruits, veggies, all sortsa dessert...they did it right. // lots of art. photography. paintings. ripped paper. colored cylinders on the floor. // a slap bassist and percussionist. ambient, somewhat jazzy music creating the mood. aaaaah. // one photography exhibit about new york subway musicians. enter nostalgia.

i realized: this. this is my world. i have missed this sense of culture lately. this sort of ambiance. and i need it.

though my personal skill set for the creation of art is not yet where i want it to be, my whole life is infiltrated with art. not just visual art or even just music (though they take a very prominent place).  though it may be clichéd, this quote the closest thing i've found that describes how i feel this accurately.

i think i'm ready to begin again.



though this may look contrived...it totally isn't. okay, well i had to put all those supplies on the *other* side of the counter to take the picture...but this really is what my table looked like this morning.

it's how you get through sick timessss! you wake up at 1pm, then you stock up on this goodness. luckily, i have some pretty stellar friends who brought me all sortsa goodies to help me get over that whole cough/sore throat/sneezy/runny nose/it's-all-going-to-my-ears-and-i'm-feeling-vengeful bit that's going around. i'm...almost there.

i also added sudafed to the mix later in the evening. oh-- and i totally forgot my magical tissues in the picture.

i think i've used almost three boxes.

btdubs, photoshop just lost the last half hour's worth of work i so carefully painted for a freelance project i'm doing. perhaps it is sick as well.

i think it's bedtime.