11

about halfway through today, i started to feel badly that it's september 11, and i hadn't thought too much about what happened 11 years ago in the midst of being busy. i started reflecting on it, and about all that has transpired since. i read joe's post, which provided a solemn new perspective.

ground zero on my last day in new york, 2010.

i thought about where i was when i found out the news of september 11. my 8th grade history class was in the library researching stuff for a project and of course i was in charge of drawing things, and doing so diligently. eventually i realized the majority of the class had sauntered out into the main area of the library, where i could see them through the windows of the room in which i was working. their eyes were glued to the tv. i strained to see what they were looking at, but it looked like some action movie. bombs blowing stuff up. being the stalwart student i was, i turned my focus back to my project and continued to work.

of course it wasn't an action movie. it was the news.

***

i just found my journal from that day. apparently it was a tuesday, and i wrote at 11:18pm. it started with "AMERICA GOT ATTACKED TODAY!" in all caps and ended with "I am so thankful for our safety!"

but that's not the part that made me think. out of my journal fell an envelope entitled, "to my future kids" in bubble letters and in it was a letter to them, explaining my feelings about what happened. i'm grateful for my history teacher mr. chilcoat for making us write those letters*. my favorite part: "i didn't want to get all spiritual on you here, but i'm going to anyway." it's kind of interesting to hear my thoughts from then. i was 13. but more so, i'm glad that i was asked to document something that has turned out to be so meaningful.

***

tonight, upon hearing some other truly tragic news that happened only a few hours ago, i realized that it is so important to live every day to its fullest. life can be so resilient, yet so fragile. reflection today has made me want to surrender any hard feelings and hug my family members and friends a little more tightly.

--

*i'm also grateful to chilcoat, because he told us that day, "you'll never forget where you were today when you heard of this attack." i honestly would have forgotten a detail such as that had he not made that note. also, according to my journal he taught us about heros the next day, which i felt was a really appropriate way of helping us to understand what was going on.

unpacking

[written at 9:20 this morning] 

it's been quite warm (we hit a record the other day for record high during this time of the year!) but early today the sun was shy and the clouds replaced its usual greeting. i noticed this as i rushed to my car after a busy morning, late for work. as i strapped my on seatbelt and pulled out into the street, i realized i felt a breeze. it was coming from the windows which were still cracked to ventilate yesterday's heat. though it wasn't warm this morning, it wasn't unnecessarily chilly, so i kept them that way as i sped on.

gloomy as the outside appeared, for me there was a different quality to it. a familiar atmospheric texture. i couldn't put my finger on it.

my mind was preoccupied with other thoughts, but it occasionally dipped back into a vague recognition of this somewhat recognizable ambiance as i drove.

unlike the normal overcast utah mornings, it wasn't cold, and i could feel water in the air though the rain hadn't made its way down yet.

it wasn't until i caught a scent as i rounded a slight bend in the road that i realized what it was. the faint smell was cigarette smoke, diluted by the smell of oncoming rain. that's when it donned on me:

new york.

of course. many of my memories from my internship two summers ago were fraught with this smell, feel, and surrounding environment. even the current road construction added to it. the only difference was that i was driving to work this time, rather than walking, and i was on the other side of the country.

i let my mind wander back to reminisce. the sporadic rain storms, walking to society, the crazy heat, the dynamics of various circumstances and relationships, the friends that i'd met there, so many fascinating strangers, the curiosity and wonder and awe that i tried to maintain throughout the entirety of my total eight weeks there.

i missed it.
all of it.
and i missed them.
and for a brief moment, i missed the me that was there.

but the other day, i penned it in black and white as i wrote to a friend:
she's still in me, somewhere.

----

in many aspects, i think i was a better person in new york.
the circumstances made it easier for me to function at my optimum capacity.

but, recently i heard a devotional by stanley g. ellis, who gave some solid advice about handling the "temporary stages of your life"...which can last a lot longer sometimes than we anticipate:

unpack your bags.

"be where we are. have an attitude as for years...be there, until you're not. the eternal attitude of a transient isn't good....[that] attitude....will rob you of much joy and satisfaction...and will cause the...community to lose the many contributions you could make."

that kind of hit me hard.
i'm not in new york now.
and i don't know when i'll return.

but -- what good did it do for me, if i only let that growth affect me while i'm there? or any place of growth, for that matter?

i need to apply that here. now. and i need to stop waiting for my future goals to be recognized to make me into the person i want to become. because chances are, as i focus on working harder to be that person now, i'll be a much better version of her later, and will be more prepared and ready when the rubber hits the road as those goals are actualized.

it's okay to miss times, places, circumstances, people, and discoveries that brought out the best in me. but i realized that it's almost like spitting in the faces of those people and places if i let whatever they made me into die simply because i don't want to make the effort to find and apply their effects within myself again.

---

well. that post didn't go where i thought it would go.
it was just going to say, "this morning felt gloomy but refreshing outside and i missed new york."
but i suppose i needed to remind myself of what i ended up writing.

nothing to wear

sometimes, it's the silly little things that keep me sane. like finding this illustration on my friend karen sorenson's blog. karen is an brilliant artist, and i LOVE her work.

"i have nothing to wear!"
copyright karen sorenson

i commented:

...i feel like this ALL THE TIME.

in fact, i didn't buy a skirt in new york, then regretted it, then spent the next year reminding myself that it wasn't in my closet when i'd [frequently] go look for it there.

ugh. oh, and when i went back in march, i couldn't find it anywhere.

true story. can anyone else out there relate? i'd like to hear your tragic tales.

...black and white striped skirt, where are you in this world? ...

first class

from my travel journal-- tuesday, march 15, 2011. i scribbled this down on the plane around 7:35pm. 
between then and now, parts of my life have changed almost drastically while others have somehow stayed almost annoyingly the same. so, for what it's worth posting now, here you go~ 

on the plane. 

slowly starting down the runway. it just stopped.

first class turns out to be awesome. after the pilot and i exchanged a brian regan quote about first class and the lady took my jacket to hang on the coat rack, i noticed the mini water bottles, blankets and pillows. i thought to myself, yeah. this is gonna be a good flight.

i'm somehow sort of glad no one is sitting next to me so i can be solo one last time before i come back to-- the chaos, mess, business, productivity, stress, and responsibility (all good and bad) that is my life --to gather my thoughts and process them alone.

review, remember. looking over the last week and a half (has it only been that long?) is a blur. seems like it's been a lifetime, and here's why: i have quite unintentionally blended together my new york summer and my new york break 9 months later--and somehow stitched them together with lots of different emotions. 

everything in those 9 months between the two trips, i'm scared, will now be stitched together by the daily life i have to look forward to upon coming home, and new york will thus be sewn completely out of my thoughts.

i hope not.

i'm going to fight to keep them there so i can channel some of the life of that, what, 8 week-- experience? and all the inspiration, realization, actualization, growth, wonder, rush, frusration, feeling small, feeling big, and confusion that is MY new york experience.

plane is finally moving again, faster this time. 

no one else can take my experience there away from me or duplicate it; it is mine and mine alone. i feel i handle things better -- i process all that input better there because it was -- is -- my adventure.

plane paused again. yess! -- 

yes? part of me wants to stay; the rest of me knows i have to go back home.

as if it could hear my thoughts -- the plane's engine started its slow rumble and has resumed creeping down the runway....

ugh, why can't i function at home as well as i do in new york? maybe it's the charm, energy and friction of new york that i need to take home with me. others may think -- 8 weeks. c'mon, it's not that long.

no, i suppose not.

but if one moment can change one's life -- and it can -- then i'm pretty sure my 8 weeks so far there have had lots of little moments that have vastly impacted me.

i can hear the engine really rev up. 

it's like, "um...k, kristin. i've given you time to philosophize; now it's time i take you back. you ready? cuzz......eeeveryone else is waiting on you."

yeah. seems to happen a lot in my life lately. sorry, planebuddy...just trying to figure things out before i left this place again. guess, like always, i'll just have to start flying and figure it out on the way. i'm ready....

plane holga (unintentionally creepy)

the plane seems to tease me. only now that i say i'm ready, its heightened sound isn't matching its actual speed. it just rounded a bend, nonchalantly rolling over more of the rocky runway.

still, same speed. for some reason i'm getting anxious to be in the air - the unknown where you can't even see a solid foundation.

just snapped a picture out the window with miss holga. the plane stopped. and now...it's going.

faster, faster.

holding miss holga tight. bumpy. flashing lights. i barely notice i'm in the air when i see the skyline outside the window tilt. i am pushed into the cushy, wide chair as i watch the perfect rows of lights down below get hazy with the clouds that separate us and the city.

peace out, ny. we'll meet again. 

regardless of my feelings, i'm headed home. 


at least i'm coming home first class.

...

ps, sometimes purging my thoughts in such a conceptual manner exhausts me, but it's the way that they come out of my head so effortlessly and seep into my pen and onto my paper. and so, it must be done.

pps. i later discovered warm towels, big pockets in the seats in front of me, nicer pull-out trays, and a full 4-course complimentary meal. didn't get the head of a pig, but in the end, i still felt pretty fantastic about being on the other side of that mysterious first-class curtain. 

re-appreciation (and why america is great)

{from my NY journal during my summer 2010 internships.  i originally started writing this the day after the 'statue of liberty' post. then i was going to publish it on july 4, 2010, in light of the holiday. however, things got just a little crazy, and i totally forgot about it! so now, a year later, enjoy ellis island with me!}

this is part II of our day-trip to the statue of liberty and ellis island. this is...well, the ellis island part.

i wasn't honestly sure what ellis island really entailed, even after we hopped on the ferry to get there after visiting the statue. however, during our small journey on the boat between the two, the automated voice in the speaker informed me that it was the island that all the immigrants came through to get to America. "imagine," the too-cheerful female voice invited, "that you were one of those people, coming to this country. can you imagine the shock and excitement it would be to see this, the manhattan skyline, rising up above the waves? after all that time traveling, this is what you saw...."

and i started to imagine. and then i got excited.

we got to the island, and headed to the museum (shown in the above photos). the inside of the museum looked like this:

we toured it early in the day. first, we watched a small movie explaining the significance of the museum and the island, which was awesome. you can actually find it by clicking here! ah, how convenient. you are currently thirty minutes away from a great education of our history.

natasha and i stayed to tour the museum thoroughly before we left, and i'm so glad we did. completely packed with historical, thought-provoking information, it turned out to be a huge highlight of my first adventure in new york. the museum was formatted to be something of a time-line in photos and other memorabilia. the walls in the rooms went through different categories.


leaving home, the journey, transportation, living conditions on the journey, etc....

i loved seeing all the gigantic photos depicting the stories. they also had a bunch of postcard-sized pictures of the ships that the different groups came on. one of my favorite parts was the passports. there was a whole area just filled with framed passports. for some reason, this kindled a great longing to love these people who'd gone before me, these people filled with such hope for a better life. i think the reason was, that i realized these passports had really belonged to them. specific people. i studied these passports, with both their handwriting and photos. (their handwriting was beautiful--i'll spare you the tangent along the lines of my sadness that handwriting is being lost these days...for a different post).  to me, it was just so cool--that many years later, i could be looking at these, the original copies of important things that belonged to these individuals.

the history continued through the walls. the arrival to America, the adjustment, the oppression and racism...

this part really saddened me, especially after building intangible connections to some of these people. this was America...they had given up so much to be here. it's so unfortunate how such small things can tear great things apart so easily.

the walls went on: living conditions on land, making a living, politics, diversities....

i really appreciated how many different cultures were represented in this museum. there were many quotes and photos of and from individuals, depicting their journey. just like new york today, one common goal can bring together people that may not have found each other in any other way.

the captions continued: the 'go-betweens', the new immigrants, the womens' rights activists, and finally the immigrants of today.

lovely natasha and the womens' rights wall

{okay, here's the fun part: another reason i didn't post this until now was because i started making a little movie of some of the pictures i took. i started making it..last year. between my crummy point-and-shoot and the fact that i can barely navigate the unintuitive movie program on my computer, it's hardly a cinematic wonder. BUT. i'm pretty proud of some parts of it, and it's more interesting than just posting all the pictures. either way, it helps me remember how i felt at that museum; hopefully you can get a taste of it too, until you visit for yourself. the post would have been done earlier today, but after creating it, uploading took oh, all of 5+ hours, then glitched. and now you know how i spent the rest of this holiday...anyway, it had to be compressed for the interwebs, which i didn't consider, so you might have to pause it to read some of the quotes. sorry! but...enjoy!} :)

i came away from the museum with a lot of fresh thoughts and a lot more respect and appreciation for both my freedom and my country. i felt my long afternoon was well spent and it helped me remember why America is so great. i am so fortunate!

happy fourth. :)

train of consciousness

car --> moving sidewalk --> plane --> air train --> real train --> {subway} --> car

.....

sunday, 6 march, 2011, 5:04 pm

i'm writing on the subway right now. 72nd st, to be exact.

above me are my old summer stomping grounds!

we just passed 66th--the lincoln center. ah! it's all coming back to me.

interestingly, i'm not finding/feeling the same rush of excitement about everything as i did the first time...makes sense,

{77th street; the train is more crowded now}

because the first time i was discovering everything with new eyes. but -- i have this odd ability to make an absolute adventure out of everything in my head (as well as my camera and sketchbook and blog). so, i could have felt the same

{86th street}

or similar on this trip as i did the first time...but i'm glad i'm not.

i'm glad i'm not because the first trip was practically nearly perfect. it was everything i wanted and needed, and it was just right for me. i wouldn't even want to try to replicate it because this trip would change things and make them different than the last time 

{96th and it is SUPER packed in this train}

so this can be a different kind of adventure. different is okay. i'm pretty relieved it's feeling all so familiar to me, but not because of my previous fears (will i get lost? how will i get around? will i get robbed? will i be okay?) -- but because of that fear of accidentally trying to replicate the past (or unintentionally doing so)

{103rd}

and having it not live up to my expectations.

{110th street}

ok...just passed 110th...agh! maybe i spoke too soon -- i tend to long for the past at times. 110th...isn't that jen's stop? maybe not...but oh, memories! she has a great little apartment. desert night and games and ooh -- 

{116 now}

this is the stop before my old stop -- the one leading to the reed's adorable little family. remembering when i sang the baby to sleep during that hard, hard night-- and the trust that she held in her eyes between her tears as she looked up at me---

{125th}

oh!! oh -- i can see the outside. now...now. this is poignant to me. i see the projects on one side -- and the corner of my old apartment building on the other! aaaagghhh...now it's settling in. how i love the 125th stop-- the train goes above ground here. i returned off of this stop every day for a month and a half...

{137th street}

and now we're passing the next stop...the only time i traveled this far was that beach day -- natasha's birthday. the one where everything went wrong and wonderful beth moved in and the mover man bled all over our floor and the train was broken so we had to go up a stop before we went down to far rockaway...and how grateful i was for that detour and for the conversation i had with dear natasha and jodi, and how much our friendship grew that day...

and now. now is where i'm off to the unknown. adventure time? yesss. i believe so. 

{145th, 5:22 pm}

231, here i come! 

passing dyckmann and 207th, the train goes above ground once more and i see a whole new scene. somewhat intimidating--there is graffiti everywhere and it doesn't feel familiar anymore. but i know that there is a diana and a jonny and a little baby waiting for me, so here i come....

.....

addendum -- above is quite literally the stream of conscious thought that i recorded on the ride here. below is the picture to prove it. i edited very little (though added some things) and as i read it through here now, i'm realizing that there's a lot more than a transportation log that has been recorded here.

post-addendum? can you do that? sure you can. here's mine.

i'm now sitting comfortably in diana's charming little apartment, with the rain pounding on the windows, the howling wind rustling the trees (are there trees in the bronx?? it's too dark to tell) and listening to sirens in the distance. 

perhaps, to an extent, i am still in awe of this place.

miss liberty

when i wrote about my internship with brett, i neglected to say that i can see the statue of liberty on the way to and from brooklyn. the first time i saw it out his window was a real shocker--i remember just glancing out the window one day, and it was just...there!

view out the window (to the left of the pirate picture in the previous blog post)

for some reason, it resonated with me as some sort of piece (and peace) of home. or something. it was sort of shocking and comforting, somehow, to see that well-known monument i've known about since kindergarten, just chillin' there outside the window. [in real life you can see it much more clearly than in this photo! promise.] it has become my little ritual to look for it on the train to brooklyn, and my eyes automatically notice it while at brett's studio. i don't mind.

...

today [sat. june 26] i went with my roommates natasha and jodi, along with our friend jonathan, to visit miss liberty herself, along with ellis island. we didn't get tickets in time to actually go inside the statue, but it was okay; i felt it was worth my time--i spent really good quality time on both islands.

the four of us headed to battery park to catch the ferry. i loved being on a boat. all i could think about the whole time i was on the boat today (i believe that was 3 times) was this. natasha and i quoted thoroughly through much of our boat time. :]

fabulous roommate natasha on the boat headed to the island

the excitement grew as we neared the statue, and i realized she looked a lot smaller than i thought. it's interesting because usually things that look so small from a distance look bigger up close and personal, but it wasn't the case here. which i thought was kinda cool, because she can be a beacon to those far away but still small enough to be personable. at least, that's what my mind [which incidentally tends to characterize many inanimate objects, including shoes and chocolate milk] tells me and i'd like to believe it, thank you very much.

when we got to the island, here's what we saw:

roommate love!

and pretty skylines (with pretty roommates)!

i just kept looking at the statue. from the side, she has some very pleasant rhythms to her stance:

and i really started to just love her aesthetics, something i hadn't paid as much attention to when i'd see her in photos or from a distance. little things like her body type, how well drapery was designed, the actual design of the drapery, the weight of the stance, etc.


so, i decided to figure-draw the Lady. i started with a sketch, then inked part in. i looked kinda funny...but i wanted to get the angle right. so, here's what i looked like, and here's what the sketch looked like:

oh, that's jonathan on the right. and the statue on the far right...if you couldn't tell....

 and then got brave and tried some color. i'll post that later. too lazy to fish for the camera card now.

we walked around and found some statues. they were all sorts of wonderful. they depicted various historical figures (Alexandre Gustave Eiffel, Édouard René Lefèbvre de Laboulaye, Emma Lazarus and Frédéric Auguste Bartholdi, to be exact. More about these in a later post. Hopefully.) along with plaques explaining their significance.

i don't even know how anyone could tell me and mr. hearst apart.

all in all, glad i got the opportunity. i still look at the statue when i travel to brooklyn, but now my thoughts are directed differently.

stay tuned for part II: ellis island.

where no intern has gone before

[this post was actually written close to the beginning of my internship. ironic that i'm nearing the end now....]

so. brett helquist is such a cool dude.

if you don't know what he's done, check out his website. he is most well-known for illustrating lemony snicket's 'the series of unfortunate events' books (which, he said, took him 8 years and is one of his favorite projects so far).

he's really down to earth, and easy to talk to. the first day, i was a bit nervous, not sure what to expect that first day as i arrived at his apartment. i got to the building, walked up the 3 flights of stairs, and rang the bell to his studio door. he answered, and we walked up two more flights of stairs to his studio. as i walked into the studio, the first sight surprised me. i didn't see paintbrushes and palates; i saw a slew of guitars and a music stand, all lined up. oh, it's a beautiful sight. brett loves music, and i do too. i knew right then we'd get along just fine.

more about that later.

it's so great, because he's let me do a lot of actual art-stuff (rather than typical intern-stuff). my first jobs consisted of: ripping paper, tracing his sketches onto said ripped paper, stretching that paper after he detailed the sketch and stapling it to frame.

apparently i did that all too fast, as he said he couldn't keep up with me. :) (*note: it isn't difficult to get ahead-- i'm not doing the hard part. he's the one actually creating the darn things.) BUT this is the cool part: he's up against a deadline and said that he's going to try something that he hasn't before: he said he'd let me do the underpaintings. (!) he helped me get set up with the paints and such, and i basically did a paint-by-numbers. he said, "congratulations, you've gone where no intern has gone before. i never let my interns get this far into my work." (!!) i was incredibly happy. not that i'm amazing or anything (and no, i'm not playing victim to false modesty. i'm a decent artist with skill but have more to go than i've come, and it's okay--i'm working at it)-- it's just that i was able to do this and he was already thinking of hiring someone to do his underpaintings, and as he said, "this is as good a time as any to try it out".

so. it's pretty much awesome. he said that i can look through any of his wide collection of art books (it's a great collection at that) or even play his guitars if i have down-time. he invited me to look over his shoulder and ask questions, because i'm here to learn. i thought that was cool.

he's also good about making me feel comfortable about doing the tasks. for example, last time he said "don't worry about it [doing the underpaintings] because if i were worried about it, i wouldn't let you do it."

brett is one of the nicest people i know, but also very honest. i really appreciate both those aspects and i'm really so happy i have this internship! i know i'll learn so much.

behind the red door

editor's note: miss kwistin has limited access to internet for now (we shall forgo details at present) but she does feel bad her posts have been spotty. she has lots to say, and asks your forgiveness and cooperation as you continue to check back for her upcoming posts. she may or may not be typing this at the apple store using their computers right now. ;) 


i've started to do videos because they save time! i was going to edit this so it's not so long and boring, but didn't have time. so, you can skip it or enjoy the walk to work (from the bus) with me. :) 

my first week at society of illustrators had a learning curve for sure, and not only for my actual job description. i admit: i felt very out of my element those first few days. there are many things that separate me from the people i'm surrounded with there. however, now that i'm a few weeks into it, i see all the things that connect us together, and the other day i realized how much i like and truly enjoy all the people that i work with.

i made this closet beautiful.

it's pretty cool, you know, being thrown into a place that's completely new with people who live very different life styles from those you're generally around. if you're a boy, i imagine it's like calling a girl you like a whole bunch for a first date and just waiting those few eternal seconds while the phone slowly proceeds to that droning ring, until she finally picks up and you stumble through the words and wait for the response....and she finally says yes. (i don't really know...i'm not a boy. i just figure it's like this). or maybe it's kind of like that old feeling in the days of dodgeball, sitting there on the sidelines with sweaty palms, wondering if you'll get picked last and what you'll say and how people will see you----then finally breathing when you get picked at all. i'm not sure on that either; i always avoided dodgeball for that reason....

anyway, i guess it feels just like you're a girl from a town you've grown up in where you know a lot of people who all live the same way you do and you're comfortable with it and they like you and you like them and you like the place but you want to get out and experience new things and new environments that you can't possibly get in that one location and so you leave all on your own and you're kind of nervous but you decide that you'll take the risks and so you do it and it's hard and stressful and then you stop and realize that....hey. it's not so bad. in fact, you find you enjoy it.

i think it's kind of like that.

my first day there, another intern let me in because everyone else was in a meeting. so i sat in a chair, not knowing what to expect. later, a nice-looking boy came down (i later found out his name is alvy) and opened up the gallery that belongs to the society of illustrators: the museum of american illustration. the other intern told me i could look around (his name is jonny) so i did. come to find out, the student showcase was going! meaning, i had 7 friends from byu enter that showcase and i saw all their work in the actual gallery! it was a tender mercy and a sweet piece of home, as i saw each of them and remembered seeing the same work in the bfa studio where i spend most my time at school.


the work: anyway, my job at society consists of the typical intern-things--lots of odds and ends. things that need to be done but that no one has time for, but i'm so glad--i've learned so much!

annelle miller and i stacked all these:
they are the student show pieces!
never has any bin of artwork been
so cleanly stacked. it's incredibly hard.

a lot of it is manual labor...so far, i have: unpackaged artwork, carried big boxes up 4 flights of stairs (repeatedly), packaged artwork (including brown paper, bubble wrap, cardboard carrying case, AND handles. yes, handles for the carrying case), filed artwork, done data entry, resized images, color corrected images, cut labels, typed up name tags, transported artwork for shows, researched art supplies online and helped figure out budget for them, run to the post office to drop off a package, sat at the front desk and answered phones, and anything else that they might need. i really enjoy being around artwork from artists that i've studied so often. it's also really good to interact with bigger artists who come in every once in a while. 


sometimes it's ridiculous how much there is to do, and other times we get sent home early (i have yet to be sent home early though) because there's not much going on that really needs the presence of more than one intern.


the building is absolutely inspiring. it's pretty small, but 5 stories tall (and i'm constantly running up and down all those stories! the best part is the walls. on all the walls, there are originals of all the artists i've studied in the past few years in bethanne's history of american illustration classes! hopefully i can do another blog sometime about that specifically, but i'm talking guys like coles phillips, al hirschfeld, n.c. wyeth, and j.c. leyendecker. oh boy. (!)  i really feel fortunate that i took those classes from bethanne, because i feel like i can appreciate the atmosphere so much better! 


lunch is great; dave is the master chef dude and he fixes amazing meals daily. members of the society get to come in and eat in their dining room and bar for free, and so do the staff and interns! so i'm very well fed here. it's great. lunchtime has been a great way for me to get to know the other interns, the staff members, and occasionally some artists. i don't often get to bump into artists because the staff/interns have a separate table, but i've been fortunate a couple times. : )

this is at the opening of the earth show! "earth: fragile planet"

i also get to attend the events society holds, for free! this includes sketch nights and lectures, which is great! i attended the opening of the new show (after helping to get everything ready for it) so it was exciting to see the final product. it was out of my way to go, but i'm really glad i did. i enjoyed seeing everyone i knew there out of their normal element, and got to meet a couple of the artists. {off topic, why is this font so large?! it's driving me nuts and i have no time to deal with it now}

anyway. good times all the way around. i feel really fortunate to be getting all sorts of training! until next time ~ 

the other side

i have  a lot of posts written, but my camera card still isn't reading on my computer! i'll have to check to see if i can get a card reader from a store here (i tragically left mine at home).

just wanted to share a somewhat sobering experience real quick, that happened on the subway yesterday. i wrote about it in my little travel journal immediately after:
...

after a bunch of transfers, i got settled onto the F-train headed to brett's. immediately after i got in, a skinny man in a blue shirt and jeans came and stood directly in front of me, but perpendicular to my direction (facing the general car). he started talking to all of us in his thick new york accent:

he said that he wasn't one for begging for money. he prefaced his speech with something about how this is new york and people begging for money have corrupted new york as they just buy alcohol with their little money. he said that he doesn't do drugs (and repeated this statement multiple times). "if any of you have any extra food, though, anything, i would be so appreciative. you see, the YMCA doesn't include food. if i can round up $27, that's a full bed & breakfast. but really, any food or anything would be so appreciated." 

he said more than this, but it was all so sudden and unexpected that i can't even remember it all. he held with him a sign that explained his situation and a small paper sack, looking close to empty.

at the end of his plea, a man across from me gave him a small bag of nuts or something, and the petitioner looked so thankful and expressed his gratitude. he then looked over at me and we locked eyes for a second, as i was the only other one rummaging in my bag - - - but i felt like he didn't want to pressure me so he looked away, thanked everyone (though he only got one item), and exited.

please don't tell me that he was probably a schemer or to ignore this because it'll happen all the time (it already has); regardless of my happy, middle-class upbringing, i'm not ignorant. but i just felt that this man was truly sincere. even if he wasn't, how sad to be in a situation have to beg like that...?

as he left, i was sad to realize i did have a small water bottle, and also sad he left before i could offer it up.

so, i gave him what i could: a small but heartfelt prayer to God that if this man's heart and intentions were pure, he'd find what he needs.

...

the streets of new york are filled with apparent beggars and people who are less fortunate. there are people all over the world who struggle. i've passed many people on the street in similar situations. one yesterday struck me: a girl sat with a sign reading, "homeless, poor, and pregnant, please help". tonight i saw a man in the park struggling with tons of plastic to recycle, just to make some money. so many people struggle and i don't often see this in my home state.  so, if you're religious (or even if you're not), could you maybe stop today, right now - - for about a minute and say a prayer for them? it just might help.

trains.

it was day 4 of NY (tuesday), but really, the last verse here tells more about it than anything. 

it was the first day on the job with brett.

my first day riding the metro all alone.

i was...kind of nervous. 

...

shelley was a sweetheart and mapped everything out for me, and we discussed how to get to and from where i needed to be. i was confident that i could do it, but obviously a bit hesitant about what to expect. 

on the way to the metro, i talked to big brother alan, who helped me feel better.

then i was on my own.

...

got to station. waited for subway.

it came. let it go. wasn't sure if that was the right one.

got a tad jittery, shook that off.

one woman asked me if i knew what train just passed, and i told her it was the b-train. she thanked me and sat down. 

i hesitated, then asked her to clarify what train i should be waiting for. 

she gladly explained all she knew and we continued to have a good conversation about the day, how we wish there was an extra half-day's worth of time on mondays and other such things.

i bid her farewell.

she got on the next train.

...

got on next train with little worries.

except for the small wonder of "how do i know when to get off?"

looked around.

dude on right? 

no.

girl across isle? 

nope. 

lady to the left? 

...yeah. try her. 'excuse me, i have a question....'

she spent about ten minutes pouring over the small subway map with me and going through all my various options. super helpful. by this point, i felt good enough to even venture different routes to my locations. 

thanked her. 

she got off.

i had some time, so i opened a book and started to read to relax a bit. 

then i saw 4 clean-cut kids get on, around my age. i could easily see them going to my university. 

this helped a bit. 

another stop.

i stayed on and others got off, allowing these kids to sit. 

i glanced up, since they already held a bit of my interest, to see where they sat, and saw a girl next to them and right across from me, reading the book of mormon. 

this made me so relieved and happy, i almost laughed out loud.

tender mercies have an interesting way of presenting themselves.

i opened my travel journal and wrote, "suddenly, home doesn't seem so far away."

i knew i'd be fine today.

... 

got off at the correct location.

walked across platform.

waited for next train.

and waited.

kept waiting.

there were others waiting, too, and i noticed a short black lady with super curly hair (so awesome), and clean gray converse shoes (so awesome). she made some comment about the train taking forever, and i asked if it was the only f-train that came this way. she said yes and inquired what direction i was trying to head. turns out we were headed in the same area.

the train finally came, and we sat together (though didn't talk much).

the train was far more nice than the poor old c-train, and at one point, sun lit up the dull windows as the train sped upward above ground and sped over the brooklyn bridge. 

the lady and i got off at our stop and walked out of the metro together (she made sure to point out where i'd go on the way back).

we walked a block or two, got one more direction from her, then parted ways.

she went right. 

i kept walking straight. 

...

got to brett's. safe and sound.

something inside me (i know what it was, too) told me who i could and could not trust today. that was an extra special gift i hadn't even asked for, and found all too perfect for what i needed.

...

{additional note}

on the train home, i wrote in my travel journal, "i walked with a lot more confidence than i felt i should have had, but took stock of myself and realized i did know the way-there was no need to panic or feel nervous until a problem presented itself. i made sure not to be cocky--i was only a survivor of one train ride by myself--but i was confident enough not to be scared. it felt good. 

 i sat and out the window across from me, saw a train riding a track parallel to ours. both gained speed at the same time, and though ours sped up a bit more, so it was an odd sensation--i felt the immense speed my train was going but studied the other as it ran. its windows went by slower but not too slowly; it had gained proper train speed. eventually, the track it was on dipped down and sunk below ours so the faces and windows that framed them disappeared. it reminded me of the old black and white film reels as they flip through. i wonder if anyone else noticed this odd and oddly enjoyable sensation. 

i looked around; no one seemed to notice. i reveled quietly to myself."

above: the actual entry and quick sketches i drew to remember...i'll post real pictures later.

jaunts in the city

{tragic: i wrote this on saturday, but wanted to include photos and sketches. my memory card isn't reading on my computer! :( but i'll post anyway, and hopefully get them up later....}

new york--day 2. i set out on my own this morning (after receiving very detailed instructions) to find the apartment i might move into. it could have been scary, but wasn't. i felt very confident and happy. it was a lovely morning, and i found my way easily. i noticed a few things today.

i love architecture.

old buildings with intricate decorations are fabulous. 

stairways scaling buildings look cool.

the buildings here are very well colored.

people are fascinating.

i got several "good morning!"s while walking.
i was handed a few religious brochures.

it's cool; skin color doesn't tell you anything...

it's what comes out of their mouths, and how they say it that tells you about where they're from.

when i got back, we met up with lindsay, shelley's friend, and we walked around central park.

pushing a stroller through central park is very hard. especially up the hills.

i love outdoor music. love it.

john lennon rocks my socks.

there are many older, very fit people in new york.

saw a whole ton of people jogging in half-uniforms: police button-up shirts, and odd shaped hats (lindsay thought they looked like 'british constables', though she admitted she wasn't exactly sure what that term meant. judging by this picture, she was spot-on.) however, they were wearing normal gym shorts and running shoes....

even my comfiest shoes...aren't comfy enough.

the variety of dogs here is endless.

we then walked to lindsay's apartment.

new york has great typography. 

i enjoyed hearing pregnant-mom talk. (they're both expecting.)

stroller up the stairs: hard. but i'm learning.

we hopped on the subway,

and went to see the temple and lincoln center.

the temple was beautiful!
the julliard building is beautiful!

hey jeff, it had a title that looked like a word or two we both know and love.

subway again. 

 dude with dreadlocks as long as my hair *used to* be. 

reminded me i need to blog about that....

sounds of this city are fascinating. smiling to myself, i felt a bit like this. 

had a good discussion with shelley about good life stuff.
(to be recorded in my journal.)

so, lots and lots of walking.
even my comfiest shoes...aren't comfy enough.
but it was a wonderful day!