empty rooms with dense air

so looks like i word vomited. 
like....five times. 
last month, on this blog.
that's pretty good, right? 

****

right now i'm listening to my own voice croon songs (really, bits of songs) i've "written" --made up in the car and recorded-- and it's sort of soothing rather than insecurity-filling, which it has been in the past.

and some of these songs? from a few months ago? they are heart-breaking.
it almost makes me want to cry.
and there are journal entries mixed in.
i am letting them play as well.
and also writing down the lyrics of the songs.

and surprisingly, i really like some of the songs.
like....really.
a lot more than i thought.

i want to do something with them.
but i also want to keep them a secret.
they *are* my journal entries.
sort of like this blog.

but like this blog, they are my secrets that i feel the need to share.