dancing with a little girl heart

i've been perusing my blog's...*cough* 85 drafts. 

i was looking for the one with the words writtten below. i'm publishing it now because i danced a bit this morning (it had been a very long time since i'd done so), and i just accidentally perfectly classified this type of dancing. which is the title of this post. 

monday june 6, 2011. 11:31am -- 

i just realized something.

i spent 3.5 hours writing in my journal this morning because my head was about to explode, and so was my heart.

so after i used my journal as my pensieve, as i so often do, i was completely filled with emotions. tons of them. all mixed.

i put on a song that was stuck in my head yesterday. it was SO VERY appropriate for what i've been feeling and experiencing.

i danced to it.

and i danced HARD.

i realized something and commented to my mom -- i am a pretty alright dancer sometimes. sometimes = when i'm driven by emotion. she said, yeah, you won't let me watch you now, but when i used to watch you dance, you were always so expressive. it was wonderful.

then i realized: i have very little formal technique on which to base my dancing, so emotion is the only driving force behind the way i move my body. which is both empowering and limiting and either way, very honest: when the emotion is gone, so is the dancing.

it's thrilling, being driven and moved by pure emotion.
but also frustrating, to reach the end of your ability.