shorthand

in the past i have been incredibly good at record keeping. mainly because of a challenge my dad gave to me when i was in 6th grade, but that's not really what this post is about.

i've not been keeping a regular journal for over a year now and that's the first time since i was 12 this has happened. it's easy to slip out of habits you work so hard for, which is why the reason of such habits is so good to remember. again, this isn't today's point.

the point is, i'm exhausted. i feel like i have so much on my mind that even considering the task of putting a pile of words down and sculpting them into precise representations of abstract and complex feelings, which i have historically loved, feels like daunting. and feeling responsible for what seem to be lost memories seems haunting. especially when circumstances and feelings and thoughts come so quickly and change so suddenly. daunting and haunting.

that being said, well, read that again. did you catch the irony? meta-recording here.

i guess that's why sometimes i just have to write or record in shorthand. resort to looking at texts, emails, calendars, etc. to remember what goes on in my day-to-day life, because as seemingly insignificant as days are, they make up our weeks and months and lives. so day to day stuff is pretty important to me as a whole.

this sort of shorthand might not make sense to anyone else but sometimes that's okay. like today's for instance. today feels like window; i hope that tomorrow is thule.