trains.

it was day 4 of NY (tuesday), but really, the last verse here tells more about it than anything. 

it was the first day on the job with brett.

my first day riding the metro all alone.

i was...kind of nervous. 

...

shelley was a sweetheart and mapped everything out for me, and we discussed how to get to and from where i needed to be. i was confident that i could do it, but obviously a bit hesitant about what to expect. 

on the way to the metro, i talked to big brother alan, who helped me feel better.

then i was on my own.

...

got to station. waited for subway.

it came. let it go. wasn't sure if that was the right one.

got a tad jittery, shook that off.

one woman asked me if i knew what train just passed, and i told her it was the b-train. she thanked me and sat down. 

i hesitated, then asked her to clarify what train i should be waiting for. 

she gladly explained all she knew and we continued to have a good conversation about the day, how we wish there was an extra half-day's worth of time on mondays and other such things.

i bid her farewell.

she got on the next train.

...

got on next train with little worries.

except for the small wonder of "how do i know when to get off?"

looked around.

dude on right? 

no.

girl across isle? 

nope. 

lady to the left? 

...yeah. try her. 'excuse me, i have a question....'

she spent about ten minutes pouring over the small subway map with me and going through all my various options. super helpful. by this point, i felt good enough to even venture different routes to my locations. 

thanked her. 

she got off.

i had some time, so i opened a book and started to read to relax a bit. 

then i saw 4 clean-cut kids get on, around my age. i could easily see them going to my university. 

this helped a bit. 

another stop.

i stayed on and others got off, allowing these kids to sit. 

i glanced up, since they already held a bit of my interest, to see where they sat, and saw a girl next to them and right across from me, reading the book of mormon. 

this made me so relieved and happy, i almost laughed out loud.

tender mercies have an interesting way of presenting themselves.

i opened my travel journal and wrote, "suddenly, home doesn't seem so far away."

i knew i'd be fine today.

... 

got off at the correct location.

walked across platform.

waited for next train.

and waited.

kept waiting.

there were others waiting, too, and i noticed a short black lady with super curly hair (so awesome), and clean gray converse shoes (so awesome). she made some comment about the train taking forever, and i asked if it was the only f-train that came this way. she said yes and inquired what direction i was trying to head. turns out we were headed in the same area.

the train finally came, and we sat together (though didn't talk much).

the train was far more nice than the poor old c-train, and at one point, sun lit up the dull windows as the train sped upward above ground and sped over the brooklyn bridge. 

the lady and i got off at our stop and walked out of the metro together (she made sure to point out where i'd go on the way back).

we walked a block or two, got one more direction from her, then parted ways.

she went right. 

i kept walking straight. 

...

got to brett's. safe and sound.

something inside me (i know what it was, too) told me who i could and could not trust today. that was an extra special gift i hadn't even asked for, and found all too perfect for what i needed.

...

{additional note}

on the train home, i wrote in my travel journal, "i walked with a lot more confidence than i felt i should have had, but took stock of myself and realized i did know the way-there was no need to panic or feel nervous until a problem presented itself. i made sure not to be cocky--i was only a survivor of one train ride by myself--but i was confident enough not to be scared. it felt good. 

 i sat and out the window across from me, saw a train riding a track parallel to ours. both gained speed at the same time, and though ours sped up a bit more, so it was an odd sensation--i felt the immense speed my train was going but studied the other as it ran. its windows went by slower but not too slowly; it had gained proper train speed. eventually, the track it was on dipped down and sunk below ours so the faces and windows that framed them disappeared. it reminded me of the old black and white film reels as they flip through. i wonder if anyone else noticed this odd and oddly enjoyable sensation. 

i looked around; no one seemed to notice. i reveled quietly to myself."

above: the actual entry and quick sketches i drew to remember...i'll post real pictures later.